Alan Gone Adventuring
by lana-nana
Summary: The Three Little Bears Tortall style (although it doesn't seem so at first) Also the sequel to The Three Little Tortallans
1. Prologue

Alan Gone Adventuring  
  
What ever did happen to Alan? Being bored (yes, again!) I decided to write a sequel to The Three Little Tortallans. So what ever DID happen to Alan? Well, lets find out (and hopefully, this won't be as stupid)  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
Once upon a time in the middle of Tortall – No no no! That's not right. In the middle of the woods (a while away from Trebond), there lived a happy little Tortallan family. One summer day, early in the morning, Alanna woke up her children and said sadly to them, "There comes a time when children grow up and are ready to get on with their lives. They go out into the world and seek out their life and – oh enough of this. I find this part of the story WAY too boring. Just scat."  
  
Out went Thom. Out went Alianne. Where was little Alan?  
  
"Alan! Get out of bed!" Alanna roared.  
  
"Uh…what? What's going on? Huh? Where is everybody?" said very confused Alan. He looked at Thom and Alianne's empty beds and back at his mother. "Um, good morning mother."  
  
"Hurry up and get dressed. Thom and Alianne have already left," Alanna said impatiently and walked out of the room, leaving behind a very confused Alan. Shrugging, he went back to sleep.  
  
Yea, so that was the beginning of The Three Little Tortallans. In this story, it's the Prologue. Okay? 


	2. Big Trouble

Chapter One: Big Trouble  
  
Alan yawned and walked to the kitchen to eat breakfast. The moment he did, his mother Alanna came rushing towards him, screaming her head off.  
  
"What in the world are YOU doing here?" she cried.  
  
"Uh…breakfast?" said Alan.  
  
"Argh! This ruins everything! You were supposed to go with your brother and sister!" Alanna was furious.  
  
"Why?" Alan asked curiously.  
  
"Why? WHY? You're asking why?!?" screeched his mother.  
  
"Um…yea," Alan said, getting a bit worried.  
  
"Uh…" Alanna looked at Alan.  
  
"Well?" he said.  
  
"Um…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Err…"  
  
"Mother? Why was I supposed to go with them?" Alan said impatiently.  
  
"I HAVE NO IDEA!" she screamed back. Alan stepped back.  
  
"So I guess I'll be going then," he said hurriedly, and ran out of the room.  
  
  
  
Short chapter. Hehe ^_^ Well, I'm off writing the new chapter! Toodles for now! 


	3. Off on an Adventure

Chapter 2: Off on an Adventure  
  
Alan ran back into his room (the room he shared with Thom and Alianne) and slammed the door shut. He DID NOT want to go back out there. His mother was in a very bad mood. Perhaps she was even having a nervous break down. Whatever the reason was, Alan didn't want to be in the house. So he decided to go the village.  
  
Grabbing his purse, he ran out of the room and out of the house.  
Reaching the village at noon, Alan went to an eating house to eat. During his meal, he was wondering whether it was a good idea or not to go back home. His mother had wanted him gone just like she wanted Thom and Alianne gone (Yea I know I'm making Alanna look evil, but she really isn't)  
  
Perhaps he could go and find where his brother and sister had gone off. Maybe he could join them. Or maybe he could just find them and bring them back home. It would be very lonely without them.  
  
Done deciding, Alan paid for his meal and left the eating house.  
So he would go and find Thom and Alianne. It would be quite some adventure. If only he knew where to look. Tortall was a big place. But if they had only set out in the morning, they couldn't have gone far.  
  
Walking around the village square deep in thought, he bumped into someone.  
"Sorry," he mumbled and walked away.  
At the edge of the village he saw a trade caravan heading for the Great Road North. Having nothing better to do, he decided to follow it. Maybe where they were headed was where Thom and Alianne were.  
  
Unfortunately, they weren't. The caravan stopped at the next village, and stayed there for the night. Alan had spent the rest of the afternoon searching for his siblings. Just when he was about to give up, he heard the caravan leader talking about the day's sales. And how long it would take to make 10 more stops and to get to their final destination. Corus.  
  
After that, Alan decided to follow the caravan for a while longer. They would be making 10 more stops, so there was a chance his sister and brother would be at one of those 10 stops. And if not, there was still Corus.  
  
Happy with himself, he found a nearby inn to stay for the night, and exhausted from all the walking he had done to keep up with the caravan, fell asleep.  
* * *  
And so the days went by. Every time the caravan made a stop (which was for a few hours, unless it was for the night) Alan would check the village or fief they stopped at. There was never any sign of Thom or Alianne.  
  
Once, the caravan spotted him tagging along in the back, and immediately thought him a thief. Just as they were about to bring him to the magistrate (they wouldn't listen to his story) some of the caravan kids that Alan had made friends with stopped them. They told the caravan leader that he was telling the truth. The leader, still not very convinced, let Alan go anyway. But he warned him to keep his hands off of the caravan's goods.  
So Alan always kept his distance.  
* * *  
The capital of Tortall, Corus, lay before them. All throughout the caravan came the cheers of the children and younger adults. At last they had made it. Alan himself was rather upset. At none of the villages and fiefs that they had stopped at had he found any signs of Thom or Alianne. He highly doubted that they would be in Corus. But he hoped and wished with all his hear that they  
  
were. Oh, if only. If only.  
  
Hello again! I know in the last chapter Alanna was sort of OOC but it's ok right? Anyway, I've just noticed that I haven't put any disclaimers on any of my stories. So here it is:  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the setting. The only thing I own is the plot, but I probably don't own that either because it's all based on fairy tale plots. But the have been slightly altered...and yada yada yada. I doubt anyone ever reads disclaimers. So I'm off writing the next chapter. -Satiaus 


	4. Finally, the actualy plot!

Chapter 3: Forest Life  
  
Deep in the Royal Forest of Corus were two small brick houses, with two small piles of straw and sticks next to them (the remains of houses) The ::cough:: crazy Roger the Butcher had - unfortunately- destroyed them. The previous owners of the houses (Alianne and Kalasin) had moved into the brick house, which still stood (Roger couldn't destroy it, and because he had gone a little insane, he forgot he had the Gift)  
  
Thom hadn't been very happy when Alianne insisted she and Kally live with him. He threw quite a fit, saying that they should have built better houses. But Alianne wasn't very easy to persuade.  
  
So the two girls moved in.  
  
The brick house was quite small, and made only for one person, so adjustments had to be made. First of all, a privy was built outside, away from the house. Second, they needed bigger sleeping quarters. Since it was impossible to add more rooms, a completely separate house was made next to the original brick one.  
  
Because there was now another house, Thom insisted that Alianne and Kalasin live in that one, and let him live alone. But Kally said it would be better if they all shared the bedroom, shared the kitchen, shared the living room, and shared the dining room. Thom (naturally) protested. And of course, sadly, he lost.  
  
Three beds were made for the new house. A table and four chairs (one for a guest) were made for the original one, which now served as a mess hall.  
  
Thom then went to the marketplace in the city to buy supplies (they had earned some money over the past few weeks) A pot, a big ladle, four cheap and battered plates and bowls, four sets of eating utensils, four cups, and a dirty old rug were purchased.  
  
There were three fruit trees that grew nearby the brick house. Two were apple trees; one was an orange tree. And living in a forest, there was always game around. Food wasn't ever a problem, yet the three were never quite comfortable. Occasionally there were visits to the city to buy healthier, tastier foods.  
  
And so one day, early in the morning, Kalasin and Alianne were preparing breakfast, and Thom was and old book he had found in the streets.  
  
"Breakfast is ready!" Kally called from across the room. She brought over two bowls and Alianne brought one. Placing them on the table, the two girls sat down.  
  
"What's this?" asked Thom. He eyed the contents of the bowl in distaste.  
  
"It's your breakfast," Kally said simply.  
  
"No I mean WHAT is it," said Thom impatiently.  
  
"Oh. It's mush. We ran out of porridge," she replied.  
  
"Mush?" said Alianne. She too looked at her food. "I thought it was oatmeal."  
  
"Why mush?" said Thom. Both looked at Kalasin.  
  
"Enough! You're lucky I didn't give you two gruel!" she cried.  
  
"Fine. I guess mush is okay," Alianne muttered.  
  
"Well, shouldn't we be getting back to the story?" asked Kally. She and Alianne looked at Thom. He stared back, having no idea what they were talking about. Kally cleared her throat.  
  
"Oh, yes. THAT story. Ahem," Thom picked up his spoon and tasted his mush. "Ouch! My porridge is too hot!" he cried, fanning his tongue, which he was sticking out. "And it IS too!"  
  
Kalasin spooned some of her mush into her mouth and said, "My porridge is too cold."  
  
Alianne tried hers. "Mine is just right." She smiled. The others glared at her.  
  
"Let's go on a walk through the woods to wait for our por - I mean mush - to cool," suggested Thom. He got up from the table and walked to the door. The girls followed.  
  
"I wonder who our Goldie locks (spelling?) is going to be," said Kalasin as they walked out of the door.  
  
"What I wonder is how she's going to react when she gets three bowls of mush instead of porridge," said Thom. Kally and Alianne glared at him.  
  
"Pipe down. Be happy you actually got breakfast today," Alianne said angrily.  
  
"Well excuse me for being selfish and greedy. I'll be a good little boy now," Thom shot back.  
  
"Why don't we go visit Roald at the Dancing Dove?" said Kalasin, trying to be the peacemaker. She was having little success.  
  
  
  
What have I done? I've pulled the story in a completely opposite direction from what I originally intended. But I guess that's okay ^.^  
  
-Satiaus 


	5. Arrival

Chapter 4: Arrival  
  
Wandering around the streets of Corus, Alan a familiar looking boy out in the middle of the road. Alan ran up to him, not believing his eyes.  
  
"Roald?" he said, staring up at him. Roald looked down.  
  
"May I help you?" Roald asked.  
  
"Hello? It's me! Alan!" Alan cried.  
  
"Oh. Right. It's you. Look, I really have to go. I've got a job you know." Without another look at Alan, Roald left. His break was almost over.  
  
"Wait!" Alan ran after him. "Do you know where Thom and Alianne are?"  
  
"Try the Royal Forest," Roald said, not looking back. Soon he all but disappeared, leaving Alan standing in the middle of a crowded street, looking very lost.  
  
Shaking his head, Alan headed toward the Royal Forest. He had nothing better to do. And even if his siblings weren't there, a walk through the forest would be nice.  
  
Whoa. Short chapter. VERY short. It's so short that it's scary. Hehe. Sorry about that. Promise the next one will be longer. -Satiaus 


	6. In Which the Author Finally Wakes Up

Kalasin: Psst! Satiaus, wake up!  
  
Satiaus, the author (but you guessed that already, right?) finally wakes up after a 6 month nap.  
  
Satiaus: Oh my God, what day is it?  
  
Thom: It's already been half a year.  
  
Satiaus: What? Are you serious? (looks at the calendar)  
  
All the characters of the story wait patiently for the author's brain to start working again. Finally, it clicks.  
  
Satiaus: OH NOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
* * *  
  
Eheh ^.^;;; Sooo.it's been a while. After procrastinating and lazing off, I have FINALLY decided to come back and finish this story, which has been lying around since January. And 'Bad Luck?' I have a major writer's block. But that would be obvious, wouldn't it? After all, I've disappeared off the face of FFN for half a year. Almost.  
  
But.I'm back! I have no idea when I'll ever finish any of my other stories. So, after this, I'm gonna get back on track and whip up a new (attempted) humor story. Sorry, I don't think I'll ever be able to write a serious fanfic. Okay, enough rambling. Here's the next chapter of 'Alan Gone Adventuring.'  
  
But first.the Disclaimer!  
  
Kalasin: Satiaus does not own any of the characters in this story.  
  
Thom: Or the messed up plot.  
  
Satiuas: Hey!  
  
Alianne: Moving on.  
  
Satiaus: Oh, right. The story:  
  
* * *  
  
Alan Gone Adventuring  
  
Chapter 6: Mush-Art and Magically Appearing Chairs (plus.a 'menacing friend')  
  
We last left off with an encounter with Roald, who in this story universe works at the Dancing Dove. After a short chat with Alan, Roald directs our hero to the Royal Forest. Which takes us to the actually chapter (Can you believe it? I'm procrastinating even as I'm writing this story!)  
  
Little Alan walked and walked and walked through the dark forest. There was not a soul in sight (unless you counted the spiders on his boot.)  
  
"Eek!" Alan kicked his boot off, sending the spiders flying through the air. He seemed to have developed his mother's fear of spiders.  
  
Walking on, and pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened -which, by the way, hadn't- Alan by _chance_ came upon two small brick houses with piles of straws and sticks next to them.  
  
He walked closer to the two houses, not sure of what to do. But being the curious boy that he was, walked up to one of the houses and knocked on the door.  
  
Silence.  
  
He knocked again.  
  
More silence.  
  
He knocked yet again.  
  
It seemed Alan was very determined to get inside.  
  
After waiting for quite a while, he resorted to kicking.  
  
Oh Alan, when do you give up? And why do you want to get in so badly?  
  
But back to the story. After finally accepting that the door was locked, Alan finally gave up. Gave up on the door, that is.  
  
He walked around the small brick house, and spotted an open window. Grinning strangely, he squeezed through the tiny opening and found himself standing in front of a table. With three bowls of por- err, mush- sitting on it.  
  
Now Alan was pleased with himself. He was rather hungry, and a free meal at the house-owner's expense couldn't hurt. So he sat his greedy self down on one of the chairs and spooned himself a big, err, spoonful, of por- I mean, mush.  
  
And gave a startled yelp. The mush was hot!  
  
(Which, I must say, is strange, because it's been sitting there for quite a long time. Could it be.the mush is cursed! But that's irrelevant to the story. Yes, getting back to it)  
  
"This mush is too hot!"  
  
Alan slammed the spoon down on the table, causing what mush that remained on the spoon to fly over his head and splatter onto the wall behind him.  
  
Alan glanced back. What a lovely splatter mark he had made. Oh whatever, it wasn't his house anyway.  
  
He then sat his greedy self in the next chair. And he found another bowl of mush in front of him. Hopefully, this time it wouldn't be as hot as the last.  
  
It was stone cold.  
  
"Ack! This mush is too cold!"  
  
Again, Alan slammed the spoon on the table, again causing the remaining mush on the spoon to splatter on the wall behind him. It landed directly next to the previous splatter.  
  
Alan, not giving a care, went to the next bowl. He eyed it warily, then deciding it looked safe, spooned some into his mouth.  
  
Ah, just right!  
  
Alan hungrily ate it all up. Well, almost all of it.  
  
He looked at what remained in the bowl, and then at the wall behind him with his lovely mush-art.  
  
Alan, being an artist at heart, decided to finish his incomplete masterpiece.  
  
Dipping his finger in the mush bowl, he added a few lines to the two globs of mush on the wall.and voila! His newest master piece.  
  
Alan stood back to admire his work. He called it "Mush the Mush."  
  
Actually, it was nothing more than a big mess, but that's not important. Getting back to the plot.  
  
Alan put the bowl down and stretched. Well.he could take a nap now. But out of the corner of his eye, a very comfortable looking chair caught his attention.  
  
Now, where this chair came from, no one knows. After all, the owners of the house were only supposed to have 4 chairs, which were all placed around the table. So what was this chair, all the way across the room?  
  
Your guess is as good as mine.  
  
Moving on. Alan sat down on the chair and winced. Too hard.  
  
Turning his head, he caught sight of yet another chair. Now, where this one came from, I have no clue.  
  
Alan sat down in this chair, and sank down and down and down. Waaaay to soft.  
  
Looking at the last chair (which seemed to be made out of sticks and glue) Alan didn't know what to make out of it. Ah, but it seemed just "made" for him! So without a second thought, he sat down. And heard splintering.  
  
Alan landed on the floor, what remained of the chair under him.  
  
He jumped to his feet and turned guiltily to the readers.  
  
"You didn't just see that!"  
  
Readers: Riiiight.  
  
Alan flushed and ran out the house.  
  
Now he stood in front of the second brick house.  
  
Oh Alan, when will you learn?  
  
Again Alan started banging on the door. Which obviously didn't do any good because OBVIOUSLY no one was home.  
  
Just as Alan was about to kick the door, it magically creaked open. Creepy, isn't it?  
  
Alan cautiously peered inside.  
  
3 beds.  
  
Perfect.  
  
He was in need of a nap.  
  
Alan plopped himself on the first bed.  
  
"Oof!" Too hard! He sat up and rubbed his back. Sheesh, people these days.  
  
Next bed. You know the drill, right? Too soft. He sank down and down and down and down.leaving a huge imprint of himself in the mattress. Down to one more bed.  
  
Alan sat down on the edge of the mattress. He was seriously starting to wonder about the owner's taste of furniture.  
  
After deciding he liked this last bed, Alan dove under the blankets and fell asleep.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Alianne, Thom, and Kalasin were making their way back home.  
  
"Well, that was completely uneventful," Alianne said.  
  
It was another boring afternoon for the three.  
  
Boring down to the core.  
  
As the three chatted away, a dark figure lurked in the shadows. Following.  
  
* * *  
  
And that's that! Really, that was a lame place to end it. Just remember that this is supposed to be a humor fic. Our 'menacing friend' won't be so menacing once I reveal him. So who is he? Feel free to guess.  
  
Hmm.this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. There should be one more chapter following this. After that.I don't know. Need to think up another "creative" plot for another story. Suggestions are always welcomed! And flames will simply be used to roast marshmallows.  
  
-Satiaus The famed procrastinator 


End file.
